Batman

People will wow-ing me at the first sight of my batman-hijab, this term I got from Danti. I like it actually. The hijab I’ve been wearing for the rest 6 months is big enough, and sometimes could cover my hips, hide my S line hehehe. I also occasionally wear “gamis”. And yup, it is the nerdiest fashion I can present to you. This fashion also associated with terrorism. The Question is why I choose it?

I have willingness to not be a Superwoman, I just wanna fulfill my Lord expectation based on Al – Ahzab verse 59. Now, I’m getting better. I feel tranquility, having good c0ncentration, and put Allah at the first before taking my decision.

I worried at first time took this decision. I took parents, my best friends, colleague, into account. It would increadible hurtful if they were left me behind. Gladly it was going smoothly. Yeah, several sentimental comment uttered, all sum up “why did you going through this weird?” I just curved my lips and said a “hehehe” word.

I showed them that my changes, Insya Allah on the right path, conveyed them that i’m not belong to any terrorize organization, and I’m not going to transform my self to be a priest. All I’ve done is just because I really in believing hereafter. And I wanna sure you –readers- my “batman-hijab” not stirred by an extreem opinion.

ULLY!!

Hah!!!   NICE TO HAVE YOU AS MY BEST FRIEND DUDE!!!!!! I NEVER IMAGINE I COULD HAVE A LOYAL BLOG READER OF MINE!!! *Padahal isinya beneran enggak banget deh...*

Thanks for your alarming awaken my writing spirit one more time. I have to admit within this  two years  all I see just dark cloud and you know where was this feature emerged. Alhamdulillah they have gone for a while and announce me “girl you got into the next level of life”.

Yep!! Recents days tasks really enjoy to play surround my 24 for hours of life in a day... *lebay..*

Oke..I admitted the exact reason is I have spent my whole time to sleep...hehehehehe...

I miss you all, sometimes I miss our craziness behavior which is can be classified as disorder in DSM IV – TR...hahahahaha

Hope I see your imaginary grin when you read this article...and please never bore to all my stupidity, futility and another lity,,,lity...

Your Faithful

TonQ-SAMA

KIDS

They don’t know there is something wrong within their-self. My hearth break as I know they started realize for missing love from father. Being nothing happens as long as they can do school task and grab a good score.

“Do you know how to make a good decision for your future? Can you leading your self to achive your dream properly? Does your emotion stable  enough? You can learn all these thing from your father. Does your father teach you?” And the answer just great silent, and empty stare.

Some kids had told me about their miserable Dad. No legal statement plead their parents divorce, and following consequences father has to take responsibility to raise their own kids, but contrary to moral expectation, father left behind without any guilty feeling.

“Where did he go?”

“I didn’t know?”

What kind of respond I should give to them?

Is there Anybody want give me  an explanation to this phenomenon? Why such father could really exist in this world?

Menjaga Anugerah

Terbangun di dalam suasana pagi yang masih gelap. Nikmati Venus di ufuk timur. Tangan ini masih memegang Al-Qur’an yang tadi ku baca. Pada halaman itu tercetak terjemahan dari Q.S Al-Fussilat ayat 54, yang berbunyi:

“Kami akan memperlihatkan kepada mereka tanda (kebesaran) Kami di segenap penjuru dan pada diri mereka sendiri sehingga jelaslah bagi mereka bahwa Al-Qur’an itu adalah benar. Tidak cukupkah (bagi kamu) bahwa Tuhanmu menjadi saksi atas segala sesuatu?”

Air mata ku luruh, seiring timbulnya kesadaran bahwa tanda-tanda Allah itu juga ada pada diri mu. Bahasa manusia menyebutnya cinta. Sesuatu yang membuatku tidak berkutik. Syaraf parasimpatetik ku pun berhenti, sehingga paru-paru ini lupa mengambil oksigen dari luar.

Maka izinkan aku menjaga anugerah terindah milikmu itu. Dengan menggunakan jarak terjauh, sehingga aku tidak akan mampu menodai anugerah itu. Mungkin sejauh aku memandang venus saat ini, agar kau tetap suci.

Allah, jagalah anugerah itu dariku.

24

Sorry, from couple years ago, this blog is just fulfill by stupidity of me,

Why it is so hard to fly far-far away living my beloved? Changes has made by willing to change, and live is should change. They had left beatiful scar on my memory.

Many people say, everyone have to posses a capability to adapt with change.

Today, I change to unidentified form.

I really miss my family, my best friends.

Chit chat about something,

Once Isti said to me, “I want to cry a lot, I  have a good life, nice family and friends, so I have no reason for cry river.” And it happened to me as well.

Bunuh Diri

Fortunately those words never come up to my mind to overcome the problem. Maybe because it’s believe as sinful action, that I engulfed without chewed first at my very youngest age.

Recently I’ve started my reading activity about psychology, and found about a bunch of mental health problem sufferred by Americans. One of them is Halting their life through suicide.

Heh? Kok bisa sih?

I was though they are happy to have free sex, alcohol, drugs, and no need to see their Jesus every day. One thing, the millitary seems easy to take out many soul from kids in Iraq, Afghanistan, and of course in Palestine.

Depression is a stage of someone’s feeling before they decide go to terminal life. Many psychotherapy had provided to help people, growing self-efficacy, and start their knew life. Does Psychotheraphy effective enough? I don’t know.

 Maybe because it’s believe as sinful action, so I never put this plan to living my life. It is kind of psychology? I do not know baby....